What I'm learning........

In The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson writes: “Choosing to be a servant-mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the task of mothering - and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment.”

This quote really states where I am at right now. Let me explain.

Everytime Kurt is gone, I learn something new about myself. First it was that I could do this single parenting thing while he was gone. Next, it was figuring out schedules and how to work everything out. With Silas being "very routine" if you mess with his schedule too much, he was really off. Since Kurt normally puts him to bed and wakes up with him, if I don't do it like Kurt does it, it can be very challenging. So, I adjusted my schedule of waking up and when to feed Nathan to adapt to Silas's more and what a difference it has made. Now, this time, I'm learning to lay my expectations down (as this quote indicates).

I'm the kind of person that wants to have my house clean (not spotless by any means!), laundry done, folded and out of the way, and floors swept or vacuumed regularly. Anyways, I start out my day thinking I'm going to get a bunch of stuff accomplished. Well, what I was realizing was that it was at the sake of my children. Silas was really disobeying me while I was sweeping and cleaning up the kitchen and I just couldn't get him to obey regardless of the discipline I used. It just didn't seem to matter. Then, I just stopped what I was doing and really got down to his level and figured out, what he really wanted was my attention and to play with me. But the only way he could get my attention was to disobey. So, I put down my broom and washcloth and played. He was as happy as could be just by me taking 10 minutes and giving him my full attention.

So, during nap time, I sat down for my quiet time and really prayed about what this whole mothering and homemaker role looks like. How do I get the things I need to get done yet spend quality time with my children, especially when Kurt is gone. It didn't take long for the Lord to really speak to me about what my priorities are vs. His. Ugh....what I think is so important really might not be. Yes, all of the chores around the house are very important and good things to do and have done, but are they THE most important thing to do at that very moment. So, I'm still processing all of this and trying to figure out how to juggle everything, but I'm finding myself even today holding my priorities very loosely and really trying to pay attention to the needs of my children. Yes, it is a work in progress, but I'm thankful for the grace that God gives me daily to open my eyes to the needs of my children. There is hope!